When it comes to dating, keeping a positive mindset is key. But that’s easier said than done if you’ve been at it for a while. If the cynicism is starting to creep in, it’s probably time to make some changes in how you approach the search for your future partner. Here are some ways to shake it up...
Take a break
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just walk away from it for a while. A string of first dates, the ghosting, or the frustrations of online dating can pile up and weigh you down. Just like you would take a break from a demanding job to recharge your batteries, putting a pause on dating can have the same effect. Not to mention, the time away can be a great opportunity to work on yourself. Some distance and self-reflection might lead you to discover some patterns that you may be repeating, or increase your confidence, for example.
And speaking of patterns, the biggest positive change you can make when dating is to say yes to someone you wouldn’t have in the past. Being more open to different types of people, and not adhering to a checklist, will only increase your chances of finding a true connection. If you are looking for a long-term relationship than you would do better to focus on how a person makes you feel on a date rather than a checklist.
If you are online or mobile app dating, it’s always a good idea to review your profile on a regular basis and make changes. Start with your pictures. Change them up, especially if you’ve been on a site for a while. A new profile picture will help get you noticed by different people. Get a second opinion. Have a close friend (a member of the opposite sex even better!) review your pictures and help select the best ones.
Let it go
It’s hard not to have expectations when you are dating. But managing them will help you enjoy it a whole lot more. Having the intention of just meeting new people, instead of the “one” will help you to relax, be more present, and find more joy in the process.
And maybe you don’t feel chemistry in a romantic way with a date or maybe you do but the other person doesn’t, and that’s ok. Let it go. Dating is only bad, or disappointing, or however you feel about it now, until it’s not. And if you are being open, present, and proactive, it will happen! That person is out there.