I meet people everyday that are ready to find a partner. They have dated casually, hardly dated at all, or have spent years in a relationship that has ended. They all have one thing in common — the natural tendency to want to be in a relationship, to be one half of a whole. I think we have all experienced this at one time in our lives. We feel uneasy with the fact that we are single, like the trajectory of our lives has somehow stalled.
We long to be in a relationship for many reasons. But at the very root of this is a base need to feel secure and safe. And we have a tendency to feel more secure and safe when we are with someone. This is not a sign of weakness or a character flaw. It’s purely biological and was a question of survival. In primitive times, we were only safe when we were with someone or in a group. Alone and isolated, we would quickly succumb to predators or lack of food. Modern-day loneliness is borne out of this — the feeling that we might not be OK on our own. This is not to say that you can’t find contentment and be happy being single, it just means that at some point, you will have an adjustment.
So, how do you make that adjustment and make peace with this natural need to be in a relationship? Better yet, how do you embrace being single and not wish it away?
Connect with other singles
Being single can feel like an anomaly around just couples. If you haven’t already, connect or re-connect with other single people, preferably those that share your interests.
Do great stuff
Speaking of interests, there is no excuse for not doing the stuff you’ve always wanted to do. You don’t need to run it by anyone and you can be spontaneous. Go skydiving, learn to rock climb, take a painting class.
Always have a plan
Couples without a weekend plan will still have each other. Singles caught without a plan are more likely to feel isolated and do productive things like stay in and binge watch Netflix. Always look ahead and make plans with the goal of staying busy. Weekends can sneak up on you.
Travel. Yes, alone.
If you like to travel, don’t let being single hold you back. In fact, travelling alone can be more satisfying than travelling with others. It’s about you and there is no compromising. It can be very empowering to explore on your own and make the decisions. And you can always connect with others while on the trip, at any time.
Embracing being single is knowing that you are where you are supposed to be, right now. Use the time wisely to reflect and grow as a person without the confines of being in a relationship. Not to mention that loving your life as it is now is what is ultimately going to attract a partner.