Working with a Matchmaker

The decision is made to work with a matchmaker for different reasons. For many, going the personal and private matchmaking route is an alternative to the impersonal and public world of online and mobile app dating. It’s also a logical choice for super busy professionals who are used to out-sourcing or hiring assistants and see the value in being just as proactive with their love lives. While for others, the old-school concept of face-to-face contact and the personal touch of a matchmaking agency is just plain appealing, especially if they haven’t dated in a while.

The reasons for hiring a matchmaker vary but the goal is always the same for every client — to find their future partner. So how do you maximize your chances of finding love? Hiring a matchmaker will certainly take some of the pressure off but there there is still some work to do. The relationship between matchmaker and client is a true partnership — the matchmaker takes over the search but the rest is up to you. Here’s how to make the most of the experience and find your next partner:

Make sure you are ready for a serious relationship

Hiring a matchmaker is an investment. So before taking that step, make sure you have taken the time you need to get over your past relationship and explore life alone for a while. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to completely shut yourself off to the dating opportunities that might come up. Dating with a casual intent can help you discover or re-discover what you may or may not want in a partner, especially after being in a long relationship. It’s also great dating “practice” for when you are really ready for a serious relationship.

Figure out what you are looking for in a partner

Given a minute everyone could provide a description of their ideal partner. But it usually tends to be a laundry list of common attributes (don’t we all want someone who is intelligent with a sense of humour)?

Instead of just focusing on general attributes, especially physical ones, it helps to focus on how you want to feel on a date and then by extension, in a relationship. For example, is it important for you to feel at ease with the person or feel like you’ve been listened to? And if you felt that way, could that be considered a great date?

Also, there is the tendency for some to date the same “type”. If you have a had a string of unsuccessful relationships, you may want to do some work to pinpoint those dating patterns and commit to being open to dating someone a little different.

Keep an open mind and trust the process

You’ve hopefully hired a matchmaker that you have a good rapport with and that you trust. Their  focus will be on quality over quantity. They’ll put a lot of thought into the match, based on their intuition, and a process of getting to know you and who you are looking for in a partner. With that in mind, approach each date with an open mind — and have fun!

Terran Shea is a Matchmaker and Dating Expert with



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