Single and the Holidays

Feeling very single these days? You’re not alone (even if you feel that way). The most wonderful time of the year can be, well, not so wonderful during a holiday season full of parties and family get-togethers that seem to revolve around couples. And if this your first holiday following a divorce or major split, the feelings of loneliness can be pretty heightened.

So how do you get through the holidays alone without feeling lonely?

Simply put, embrace it. Know that being single during the busy holiday season can actually be pretty great.  There are the obvious perks. Your schedule is your own and there is no compromising on where you spend your time, there is one less gift to buy, and you don’t have to worry about impressing the “other” family. But here are some other less obvious reasons to love, or at least be ok, with being single this time of the year.

It can be about family and friends

Instead of focusing on the relationship that is missing, focus instead on the relationships that matter. This time is about creating memories with the people who are in your life long term and who matter the most. Dating someone, especially if it’s a new relationship, can sometimes detract from that. Also, take control. Be the one to invite people over to your house for some holiday cheer!

It can be about you

It is a busy time of the year. But you are likely to have time off work or your work demands will be less. Take advantage. Book a trip away even it it’s only for a few days. It’s a great time to reflect on the previous year and prepare for the next. And if your friends are busy with their significant others, go it alone. Solo vacations will always make you feel empowered!

If you can’t get away, make sure you fill up your time with something that you love to do or ensure you are surrounded by loved ones. You are more likely to feel lonely if you are left without a plan. This can be especially true for single parents who are sharing time with their children over the holiday.

Make a plan

Speaking of a plan, what’s your “dating” plan for the new year? When it comes to dating, the tendency can be just to wing it and hope for the best. If you are ready and serious about finding a partner in the new year, you need to be proactive. Use this time over the holidays to make a plan. What will you do differently this year?   

Maybe you have been dabbling in online dating here and there but have put very little effort in? Spend some time over the holidays refreshing or developing a great online profile. And then set the intention to make finding a partner a priority. In January, dating sites see an influx of new people. Be ready!

If online dating is not your thing or you just find it too frustrating, there are alternative dating services out there.  Hiring a professional Matchmaker is a great choice for someone who is really busy and doesn’t love the public nature of online dating. The search is the most daunting part – let a Matchmaker do it for you!

Date coaching is another option. Dating, especially if it’s not going well and you feel like you are spinning your wheels, can be isolating. Dating Coaches can provide encouragement and a safe place to discover what might be holding you back and then suggest the steps to move you forward.

Terran Shea is a professional Matchmaker and Dating coach with



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